Unearthed Series - You are NOT your work; it's time to step away

How are you feeling after having the time to process last episode? 

Honestly, I want you to email me before we even get into today’s email and let me know what sort of internal reaction you had after combing through the current state of what it looks like to be an entrepreneur in 2019.

Are you feeling like you are neck-deep in the burnout, false-promises, and constant game of upkeep?

UnearthedSeries3.jpg

We’re going to work together to alleviate some of that pressure that’s been building up and take the steps together that aid us to step back onto a path that promotes expansion, and healing, and clarity;but not before we dive even deeper into a HUGE sore spot when it comes to operating as an entrepreneur in a social-media-filled environment. 
 

Working from home is lonely ya?
Sure, it’s nice to be able to dictate what you where, when you wear it, amongst an even longer list of pro-reasons why operating from a home office is appealing; but when we really open our eyes to the reality of what being a self-employed entrepreneur means, there’s a huge piece of working from home that is anything but shiny and appealing.

Being confined to an office at home is isolating.

There are days, weeks, and what can feel like months at a time, where your only social interaction feels like it’s been with either yourself, your partner, your pets, or your kids. As humans, we were designed to rely on the love, conversation, interaction, and encouragement of one another, yet here we are - day in and day out - barricading ourselves off from the world. 

What’s even worse?

As we sit for extended hours, cut off from the situations and interactions of our innate social needs, and we immerse ourselves into a social world that only compounds our feelings of isolation, loneliness, and lack.

How often do you finish a black-hole scroll session on Instagram and think “wow, that was inspiring!”? Not too often, I'm guessing. 

We tell ourselves these lies about social media in order to feel better about our decisions to spend copious amounts of time glazing our eyes over by a glowing screen, but can this please be a wake up call for you when I say that you are not doing yourself any good by being a part of this mind-numbing social world that we’ve all become way too wrapped up in. 

Let’s do a check-in right here and right now, together:

I want you just to think about Instagram; you don’t have to do anything or open anything, just allow instagram to occupy some space in your mind. How does that feel? What feelings are coming up for you?

Close your eyes.
Tune into your body.
What physical, mental, or emotional feelings show up for you? 
Do you have feelings of annoyance, struggle, stress?
Are you already worrying about what you should post next?
Or are you feeling guilty about not having posted in a while?

Let it all go.

You are not defined by a social media feed.

IT. DOES. NOT. DEFINE. YOU.

I know that you’re worried, I know that you think you NEED it to survive in your business. I know that you fear that if you stop posting your business will wither away until there’s nothing left to sustain it, but I promise you that you do not need it to thrive.

You can build a thriving business and enjoy a balanced life - one that you can love and be proud of and reach goals in - all without living your days in a stressed out and social-crazed state.

Don’t believe me?
Take it from me, someone who has the personal stats to prove it to you.
Two summers ago, 90% of my inquiries came from Instagram. 

To break it down for you, TWENTY FOUR weddings that took place from June - October were booked all because of Instagram leads. Twenty four weddings in five months; a lot right? I was already posting once (sometimes twice) a day by then, was on my instagram stories constantly, and tried my best to respond to as many comments, messages, and mentions as I could.

Instagram felt like my business’ lifeblood. 
BUT...Midway through that season I was done. 
One hundred and fifty percent fed up with the “game”; this game of doing all, being all, offering all of the things, and keeping up with everything and “everyone”. 

It took me to the brink of another season of deep depression to wake myself and think “what is this all for?”.
For social media “fame”?
For features?
For an internal race against myself to prove that I can do it?

Remember in our initial email when I talked about how nobody is waiting for you to prove anything? No one is watching you and waited until you hit a certain number, or book a certain amount of weddings, or travel to a certain number of places.

Do you lay in bed and express gratitude for your number of likes, or followers, or inquiries?
Is that honestly what’s most important to you?

For me, it took having babies to really see - in a real life form - how much time I was investing in the wrong places; how much I was putting all of my worth and value in areas of the world that - when it all comes down to it - means nothing.

You are not defined by your work.|
Your work is not your identity.
Your work is not your entire life. 

There is no way that I can prove this to you; I know that because I’ve been there. There’s nothing that I can do or say that can offer you the experience to realize this. I can’t force your hand, or open your eyes, or do anything for you; this is something that you have to realize on your own. And if now is not the time for you to come to that realization, that’s okay, the time will come. Just know that if that time to shake yourself awake is now, I’m here alongside of you; you do not have to make this shift alone. 


I’m sure by now you’re wondering what happened to my inquiries since I never wrapped up that story.

So, after feeling the greatest burnout I had ever gone through, I started to make some shifts. 
A little less social media time, a little more fresh air.
A little less worrying about posting, a little more time for books.
A little less worth placed on likes, a little more time for laughter.
And on, and on, and on.
Little by little.

Just like what happens when we begin to eat right, or exercise, or remove the phones from our palms, slowly but surely I began to regain clarity within my mind.

Longer attention spans.
More patience.
Less anxiety.
Better sleeps.
Increased quality of life.

...What about work? 
 

Over the last year, I’ve spent less time on social media than I ever have before, and I simultaneously receive more inquiries weekly than I ever have in the past 8 years. 

When I removed myself from social media for days or weeks at a time, I created more time for myself to learn about other ways that I could invest thought and time into my business, without being changed to a posting schedule, or algorithms, or any other platform that was outside of my own personal control. 

Was there a learning curve? Absolutely.
Was there an adjustment in my bookings during that grace period while I figured everything out? Absolutely.
Was I missing out on what everyone else was doing? Absolutely not.

In time, just like any detox process, I watched my work shift from not good enough to images that i was proud of.
I experienced my mind shift from overwhelm to being present.
I felt my spirit shift from not-good-enough to a self-clarity and confidence that I couldn’t have been able to find elsewhere.

You don’t need to live a life that your followers love,
You just need to live a life that you love.

I know it’s scary - anything worth having in life usually is, but it’s in the moments of fear and discomfort when our biggest shifts and bounds of growth take place.

Lean into the fear. 
Let it show up and sit with you.
Then slowly, when you’re ready, let it pass through you and watch as you emerge on the other side as the brilliant, beautiful, beating heart that you truly are.

Here are now.
More than enough.

What scares YOU the most about stepping away from social media? How strongly do you feel confined and defined by your work? I would love to converse further with you about it - please hit REPLY and let’s continue this conversation one-on-one. 

I know this is heavy stuff, but I’m right here, every step of the way.

Kaihla

***If these emails have been resonating strongly with a part of yourself, I would absolutely love if you would take a read through something that I have coming at the end of September. I've been working to build something that I feel would serve whoever felt like they needed a supportive and unwavering helping hand to navigate through the struggles and shifts of what it means to be an entrepreneur, and throughout my newly constructed mentoring program that is coming next month, I feel as though this intensive program might be just what you are looking for.

The reason I am bringing it all up so soon, is that I want to give everyone the opportunity to be able to think on this + gather the resources to be able to agree to this offering long before registration opens. One of my favourite parts of this brand new offering is the FREE one-day entrepreneur workshop/retreat for all of my mentoring alumnis happening here in Calgary in July of 2020.

Please take a few moments to read more about Unearthed, the mentoring program. And as always, please hit 'reply' and send any + all of your questions back my way.